fasterfood:

f- *looks around* fuck the..*sweats profusely* fuck the..the..the police *SWAT team surrounds and invades my house* sorry SORRY

considerablybigben:

*puts down capri sun* i am ready for a sex

babyferaligator:

no mom you’re grounded

ostracizedpoodle:

sometimes you just need to lay on the floor

fuckerpunch:

i never realize how much i swear until i’m in a situation where i can’t

(Source: frustgaytion)

speedwalking:

have you ever met someone who is like the human version of period cramps